My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
