and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
