i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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