He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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