He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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