My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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