i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
