shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
