god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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