I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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