so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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