I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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