Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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