Sponge bath it is.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
