I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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