no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dicks are not precious.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
