yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
