Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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