I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
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