dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
