i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
can u get pink eye on your cock?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
