Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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