I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
