i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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