dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
