Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
