How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
