just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
