I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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