Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
