oh god was she eating orange peels again
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
