White coat. Heels.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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