Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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