She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
