then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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