Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
