I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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