I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
