it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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