If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
