WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
