Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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