Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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