Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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