**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize