Porn is love you can see.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
