So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
