Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
