On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
