i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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