God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
