I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
