she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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