god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
