you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
