Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
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So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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