I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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