I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
